Those red Jimmy Choos

There was a young lady who wanted a shoe,
If she could afford it, she wanted two.

But cut backs and drawbacks had emptied her purse.
She got so upset, she started to curse.

Outside she went, yelling at the sky.
Where old ladies and children were innocently nearby.

She covered her mouth and walked to the street,
Looking for a place she could bleepedy bleep.

She stood under a tree and started to shout,
But was interrupted by a neighborhood fella with gout.

“My toe’s the size of a melon, would you like to see?”
She replied, with annoyance, “What, are you crazy?”

She turned her back on him and started to spew,
The profanity came out first one, then two

“Hold it there honey, why so profane?”
“Don’t call me honey,” she said, “that’s not my name.”

“Tell me your troubles, maybe I can help.”
“Unless you have money, keep your advice to yourself.”

“Are you sick, hungry, lost or diseased?”
“No, but I’m about to kick you where you won’t be pleased.”

The man turned slowly, limping along.
He started to whistle a Barry Manilow song.

She plugged her ears but in her head couldn’t end
The tune of, “Ready to Take a Chance Again.”

“Look what you’ve done. That song’s in my head.
I hate Manilow. I like the Grateful Dead.”

He halted his limp and turned on his heel.
“I’ll stop whistling if you’ll tell me your deal.”

She rolled her eyes but finally agreed.
“My boss had financial trouble so I’ve been freed.

I need some shoes, ones I can’t afford.
Now, what in life do I have to live for?”

He considered her words, leaning on his good toe.
They made him irritated and decided to let it show.

“Let me get this straight, you want a pair of shoes?”
She nodded, thinking of those red Jimmy Choos.

“Here I’ve got gout, but feeling sorry for you.
Be thankful you can put on both pairs of shoes.
Did you not hear me? I’ve got gout.
And I’m not standing around, cussin’ about.”

He walked away, leaning heavily to one side.
She got a grip and went back inside.