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Friday, February 15, 2008

Sonic, My Love: a ballad by El Paulo





(A Valentine's love poem not for the high-cholesterol of heart, written by my friend El Paulo for all those tator tot lovers out there. Thanks El Paulo for this glimpse into your clogged artery heart. May your limeades be fresh, your fries be crisp, and your burger always have cheese.)

Oh! My dark mistress

Sonic, the evil one

Dark and twisted

Tasty and yummy

I long for you…

Yet resist you I must!

For you bring bad things

Badness

Yea, badness to my body

Yet the ride is so sweet

So smooth

So tasty!

Many drink combinations

Two are enough for me

Melinda and Aimee

Know me by name

Also Jeri and the new girl.

You think I’m kidding-

I’m not.

As though I were Norm

Everybody knows my name.

And gives me extra cherries

Really, that can’t be good for me.

What twisted genius

Opted to serve breakfast

Before when I drove by.

You were dark

Dark and foreboding!

In the first morning light

Yet speaking of evil

Soon to come.

Now you are open

And serve breakfast burritos

Loaded with unspeakable delight

Steak, egg, and cheese.

You tempt me

In my weakness

You shame me in my lack of discipline

And loathe was I to find out

On Memorial

It’s open 24 hours

It must not be so!!

I find myself pulled there

By its evil spell

I claw my way back

Away from its allure

Oatmeal for me

With dried craisins!

Yum…

Lack of cash does not bar the door

The gateway it locketh not.

It beckons with credit

So easy.

Swipe and wait

On their bountiful goodness

The carhop brings the bounty

To my trembling hand.

Oh Sonic

Would that I could sleep next to you

And cuddle you in my arms

Despite the coldness of your concrete

You make me warm inside.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha. that's awesome. i love sonic too. i walk my booty over there some days because i can't control my cravings. naughty, naughty!

Jason Michael Shuttlesworth said...

I read this. . .and wept.

kristin said...

bahaha... i love tots!