Let the good times roll.

How much sharing is too much sharing? Anyone got an answer? A formula? A theory? I haven't got a clue.

As an author, from what I've been told or witnessed, I'm supposed to be sharing every opinion, past time, thought, and meal I have. That's me marketing myself. That's me creating a brand.

That's me getting on my nerves. That's why me doesn't do it.

Personally, I'm not big on knowing everything about anyone. Even the writers I adore reading, I don't necessarily adore their coffee mug collection or gardening hobby.

Not that they aren't lovely people with lovely lives, but I'm cool just reading their books when they come out.

Personally, I'm not great with sharing details about myself because 1) I'm a private person and 2) my life is about as fascinating as a coffee mug collection. And I'm good with that.

"It's no bad thing celebrating a simple life."
J.R.R. Tolkien

Post WWI, Tolkien lived a normal, ordinary life off paper and an unimaginable one on it. We could have been mates.

I'm saying all this as a heads-up. I'm gearing up to launch my second book, Just Another Sidekick (available August 2017), which is the next installment to Not Another Superhero. This means I'll be pressured - and will succumb to that pressure - to post aspects of my simple life you are not obligated to find interesting.

But doing it is a necessary evil.

However, I do have some boundaries. I won't take selfies with my meal. I won't take a picture of my feet on the beach. And I won't live tweet any sporting events. Everything else in the pursuit of marketing my book is fair game. That includes pictures of my coffee mug collection, which I don't have, and information about gardening, which I don't do.

You've been forwarned.

The success of less

Sabrina: "Do you want a view from the house?" 

Linus Larrabee: "Uh, sure." 

Sabrina: "Which one?" 

Linus Larrabee: "Uh, all of them." 

Sabrina: "More isn't always better Linus. Sometimes it's just more."

 
The story goes that Steven Wright started in stand-up like everyone starts in stand-up - screaming. Comedy clubs are notoriously loud. Hello, the laughing. To get attention, to be heard, you had to get loud.

Steven thought, "....nah." And changed tactics.

He spoke softly, lethargically, slowly, even a smidge mumbly. No one could hear him. Not in all the chaos. Not until the chaos hushed.

Instead of talking louder than everyone else, he made everyone else quiet down. Instead of competing with the noise, he got rid of the noise. Instead of being more, he was less.

And it worked. If you want to hear Steven Wright deliver a joke, you can't unless you shut up and listen.

That's the story. I have no idea where I heard it or when. My brother and I grew up as Steven Wright fans, listening to his infamous deadpan delivery on a cassette tape we wore out in spots. Then someone stole it.

"When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually." Steven Wright

Maybe my brother told me the story. Maybe he made it up.

Steven, if you're out there, just go with it. 

Chipotle Marketing: A lesson in increasing Qdoba sales

Marketing isn't rocket science, but it does require some thought and basic rules, such as:


1. Know your audience.
In this takeout bag, one of many to highlight quotes as part of their new campaign, Chipotle told their paying customers they should hope for the day when they no longer pay Chipotle.

2. Never devalue your product.
Money is how we value our products and services. Until we start using Gummy Bears, we're stuck with money. By saying you want your product to be free, you are telling everyone you don't value your product and neither should they.

3. Support your mission.
If you're in the mood to publicly espouse personal philosophies, write a manifesto. Your products should promote your mission. For Chipotle, that's selling food. Don't talk about how much you hate working to provide that product or service, i.e. food. At least not on your takeout bags.

4. Live in the real world.
Chipotle wants Communism. That's their prerogative. But, until they decide to close up shop in a democratic republic, money is required for their company to exist.

5. Focus on your purpose.
In this quote, Chipotle has not only forgotten their own purpose, they want everyone else to live without one, too.


And here's my last point, but this is exclusively for Chipotle:
6. Get a better marketing person. I'm available, but I'm very, very expensive.

Monkey Who

The green ones aren't ripe. The yellow ones are.

Is this helpful or insulting? You tell me.



There's helping customers understand your product. And then there's treating your customers like four-year-olds, no offense to four-year-olds. I think they even know a green banana is yucky.