Friday, September 9, 2011

Sarcasm you can believe in

Speeches, speeches, speeches.

They bored me in high school. They put me to sleep in college. When stuck enduring one in a business meeting, I mentally write my grocery list. In networking schmooze-fests when trapped by a walking/talking company brochure, I feign choking on an ice cube.

Yet politicians still think speeches have value. Shrug. Good thing no one expects results from a President or he'd never break 80.

Since I may only be on this planet for 90-plus years or so and, therefore, simply don't have any extra time to spare listening to another Obama speech, I found this. It's the gist of O's brand new, revolutionary, never-before-tried-except-consistently-for-the-last-three-years-not-to-mention-during-several-other-liberal-presidencies jobs plan with enough salty sarcasm to cure pork.

Here's an excerpt that goes great with two eggs sunny side up.

Obama, whose Democratic spending priorities have pushed the national debt beyond $14,000,000,000,000, said it was important to curb spending and keep to the deficit reduction plan agreed to earlier this summer while also investing in, you know, many important things.

He then provided a joint session of Congress with a broadly ambitious list of goals that sounded to many people very much like a lot more spending, like, say, the $787 billion economic stimulus bill of 2009 that didn't stimulate much of anything except that national debt.

With the national debt already increasing $3 million every minute of every day, Obama wants to repair and modernize 35,000 schools. Obama wants $35 billion to go toward salaries for teachers, firefighters and police.

Obama wants $140 billion largely to update roads and bridges. Obama wants another $245 billion in business and individual tax relief. Obama also wants to extend unemployment benefits.

And Obama wants it all right now. Seriously. Now that his Martha's Vineyard vacation is over, this situation is urgent.

In the meantime, Americans should follow Obama's lead - take vacations, play golf, travel, talk, talk some more, and avoid responsibility.
If it's good enough for the President, it's good enough for me.


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