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Monday, June 23, 2008

The great and powerful OZ

(image from Warner Bros.)

The brilliance of the Wizard
(and a few general instructions thrown in)


- If there is a perfectly bricked yellow road, devoid of traffic and chewing gum, walk on it.
- When needing an excuse to do what you want, try "because, because, because, because, because."
- If going for a long hike across country, wear red, glittery high heels.
- Mapquest before traveling over the rainbow.
- Friends made of tin won't enjoy just singing in the rain.
- Never use the expression, "When monkeys fly," because they might.
- Skipping with your friends is a heart-healthy way to bond.
- Before crossing the street, look for motor vehicles and falling houses.
- If you take the shoes off a dead witch, make sure she's the only witch in the neighborhood.
- When pulled over for speeding, simply ask the officer, "Why, oh why, can't I?"
- You should never talk to strangers, unless they are made of straw, tin, or very curly hair.
- Take heart whenever it is offered.
- When trying to find yourself, check where troubles melt like lemondrops. If not there, check way above the chimney tops.
- Even without a brain, you can have good friends and a pretty girl.
- Hide behind a curtain, people never look there.
- If self-conscious about your size, add the word "great" to your name.
- People with green faces can never be trusted.
- Aquafina can be refreshing, as well as deadly. Drink responsibly.
- When crowds of people break into song and dance, there's no place like home.

3 comments:

Lacy said...

Aww I love this one =)

Jason said...

I'm pretty sure these are direct quotes from some obscure religious text in a far-off land over the rainbow as they sound levitical and proverbious.

Tara Lynn Thompson said...

Yes, it's called The Moron, chapter 72, verse 9.