Garlic breath isn't the problem. And no, mints won't help. What we really need is for everyone to stop breathing. If you must, inhale. Just don't let it out.
The EPA has ruled: CARBON KILLS!
The way was opened for the EPA to use the Clean Air Act to cut climate-changing emissions by the Supreme Court in 2007, when the court declared that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases are pollutants under the Act. But the court said the EPA must determine if these pollutants pose a danger to public health and welfare before it can regulate them.They took care of that today. EPA has ruled carbon dioxide - considered a greenhouse gas - is harming people's health and must be regulated. Selfish humans produce 2.3 pounds of carbon dioxide per day. So take a deep breath. And hold it.
Exhaling is so passe'.
For everyone's continued health and happiness, I propose the Great Isolation Act, segregating the heavy breathers from the more shallow ones. The regulation will also include life-saving regulations, such as beta blockers in all public water systems, the ceasing of all exercise programs, and requirements of meditation without deep breathing for 35 of the 40-hour work week.
Dangerous jobs - such as logging, fishing, and those guys cleaning windows on skyscrapers - should be pushed as safe career choices. The less people around, the better.
Also, any occupation promoting heavy breathing, such as gyms, sports, or...anything else, should be outlawed. If caught, the perpetrators should be forced to sit in a room with people breathing in their face, preferably following a meal of garlic and broccoli.
Let's all do our part by breathing inside plastic bags. I'll ask Al Gore to demonstrate.
1 comments:
I heard this story today and waited and waited, knowing you would hear it as well and you would post it.
The last time I inhaled and didn't let it out wasssss, ooh, um, back when I was a high-school druggie.
I wondered if all the liberals, who are so concerned about CO2, would simply stop breathing. I mean, I figure there were about 67 million people in America who supposedly voted for Obama (cough- ACORN!), and if they voted for Obama they must have some liberalism in them somewheres. Soooo, let them inhale and hold it. I would greatly admire their sacrifices for the greater good.
Speaking of which, did you thank a WWII vet today?
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